Emotional Tetris

I think I understand the difference between depression and clinical depression now.

Hard to believe, I know, but there are a lot of things lately that have been weighing heavily on me. Some of them are pretty old. Like any other task, I procrastinate in dealing with emotional issues too... facing fears and insecurities and the like. Once in a while, things will solve themselves naturally. It's like I'm playing Emotional Tetris - each problem is another block that I have to put off to the side. The stack just keeps getting higher and higher, and I'm just praying for the right piece to come along and clear some of it away. Sometimes you have those solid gray blocks though, the ones that don't disappear... most of those are labeled 'guilt'.

Anyways, without going into the details and whining, let's just say I've built up quite an impressive stack lately... death, betrayal, pressure, and self-doubt. Crazy, right? Let's just say there's a good reason I keep things to myself. Amazingly, I'm not in that bad of a mood. There's probably a lot of avoidance involved, but it works. I'm honestly surprised by my own stability... I keep thinking to myself, "Really? I'm not going to cry? Wow." This is probably the difference between healthly depression and clinical depression.

I can see the wave of overwhelming sadness coming in my peripheral vision though. The urge to cry is looming over me like godzilla's foot - I'm standing in the shadow, and I'm just praying that he changes direction or else I'm going to be crushed.

All I have to do is perfect the timing of my close-up and scream...