Quarantini

Mix one part Aleve Cold & Sinus with one part Sudafed Severe Cold - add a splash of Robitussin and chase it with some Gatorade... and I dare you to tell me that it doesn't get you buzzed (probably comes with a nasty hangover too).

I have finally succumbed to sickness... I'm either the last to catch whatever was going around before... or the first to spread whatever's due up next.

As I down various expired cold medications while sitting around the house in my pj's on my official sick day off from work... I can't help but notice that this is definitely a departure from who I used to be.

Up until probably my last year of college, I never took anything stronger than an ocassional dose of cough syrup or maybe one tylenol every other year. I guess I adopted my mom's philosophy that natural is always better. It reminds me of the time I went to school with a 103 fever. I think it was 7th grade - I checked my temperature before I went to school... hmm... 103 huh? But I really hated missing school (not because I'm a nerd... I hate being behind... catching up sucks). I made it all the way through 5th period before I decided I didn't feel like sitting through one more class. My brain was burning... there wasn't anything going on in 6th period anyways. I went to the nurse. I remember her saying "oh my god" as she took my temperature with the first thermometer. Then she proceeded to double check that temperature with all of the other thermometers in the office. The nurse wouldn't let me leave the office after that, which was fine with me. I got a nice nap during 6th period, and then I walked home.

Hey... it fits perfectly with the theories we learned in evolutionary psychology (Dr. Buss rocks!) that basically say your body knows what it's doing... fever, chills... if you live through it... you're better off for the next round of trouble. Plus, there's the whole bacterial resistance to antibiotics thing and the story about the CDC withholding treatment for the greater good... etc... etc.

Cut to me now... I haven't given up on those beliefs... I've just become a little more "relaxed". If I had to blame something, I would blame that darn Aleve Cold & Sinus. I think it's borderline illegal substance. The first time I took it, I was on cloud 9... I could have climbed Mt. Everest without a Sherpa. Now, sadly, I think I have slowly built up some kind of tolerance, so it's not quite as effective. Like any other drug habit... I probably just need a higher dose. Next thing you know... I'll be selling my organs on the black market to feed this Aleve addiction.

Anyways, as for the skipping school/work issue... I haven't really budged on that. The fact that I'm taking a sick day is more a reflection of the fact that I have lost respect for my company and my boss than a indication that my integrity has deteriorated. Here's what I realized yesterday...

The true measure of whether or not your boss has your best interests in mind is whether or not he or she tells you to go home when you are really sick. All of that other stuff... salary, bonus, performance review, recognition... it's all correlated, but not necessarily the most accurate assessment of whether or not you should trust your boss.

Let me show you...

Yesterday, at 4 o'clock, after a whole day of being hunched over my desk, coughing up a lung... with watery eyes and snot coming out of my nose... my boss says, "Are you going to live?"

I said, "Yeah. I think my medicine is wearing off though."

He responds, "Well, I guess you better get more medicine."