Fringy

I go back and forth on how I feel about it, but for the majority of my life, I've been on the fringe of a million different social groups. I have about as many clusters of acquaintances and friends as I do bank accounts (I just opened another high interest savings account yesterday by the way). And, like precious currency, I have spread my secrets and vulnerabilities across as many "accounts" as I can. No one person could say that they really know me, but you could piece together a more complete picture of the person that I am if you could get everyone I knew into one room. Good luck with that.

Some combination of my path in life and my personality keeps me from being a solid part of anything. My lunch schedule at work is a perfect example. Naturally, divisions stick together when it comes to eating lunch. Since my official group at work (Financial Planning) consists of only 3 people, and the other two people bring sack lunches everyday, I am an orphan come lunchtime.

Whether it first started out as a pity lunch invite or with one guy in a group having a little crush on me, I am now on the fringe of almost every group in my company. I'll eat with Airports one day, Maintenance the next, then Internal Audit, and sometimes IT comes from the other side of the floor and picks me up. I've even eaten with the Region managers... talk about an awkward lunch... 3 guys in their late 40's trying to figure out the most tasteful way to talk about Mexican hookers around me. Most of the time, I think the majority of whatever group I'm eating with still wonder why I'm there. Needless to say, I'm not part of any ensemble casts, I'm just a guest star... or more like an extra (who can only aspire to be upgraded to a Tori Spelling at best).

I'm not inviting myself to these lunch outings, I just stopped saying "no" whenever people asked. That's my new theme in life - "Say Yes" (as long as it's not illegal or slutty). I've had a lot more fun since I adopted this mentality. How else would I find myself in a conversation about owls taking off with 12 pound chihuahuas or participating in a contest to draw the best rendering of one of the maintenance analysts as a cowboy pirate?

I still hope to belong somewhere someday, but for the moment, I'm happy being fringy.