Groping, Puppet Organs, and Brain Sloshing

Seems like I've spent more time up in the air than on the ground these days. It's gotten to where I'm pretty sure I experience an actual surge of dopamine when I see a plane. I even look forward to those ambiguous meat sandwich snacks they serve on Continєntal flights.

I did lose my motivation to blog about my adventures after my epic journey to Beijing two weeks ago... just couldn't pull all my thoughts together. However, I got my groove back with this trip to LA, a quasi-birthday anniversary combo celebration with my favorite people - Andrew and Jason.

I got to do all the things I wanted to do... dance at a club that played great pop and hip hop music, spend some downtime just casually shopping and watching TV, eat scrumptious meals, and be formally introduced to the thrills of Magic Mountain.

Let's get to the recapping. Friday night, I basically went straight from Orange County Airport to Popstarz. Andrew invited two of his friends - I like to describe them as Too Funny and Absolutely Adorable. Together we had a fantastic time... it was a blur of pink liquor consumption (by them), dancing to the flow of pop and hip hop courtesy of the hardcore lessy DJ, and lots of random ass-grabbing and sweaty grinding. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. How could you not enjoy getting groped and your shoes complimented at the same time?

Saturday was a chill day. We got up around noon, drove over to Monterey Park to get some heavy noodles and tapioca milk tea, and then Andrew and I went shopping on Melrose. The weather was perfect, and Andrew picked up some snazzy duds. After returning to the apartment, we spent some quality time in front of the boob tube. Somehow, that's always more fun with Andrew... I think it's our ability to critically analyze important programming like reality TV shows and commercials. Right now our (really mine, but I make it "our") obsession is with the Kellogg's All Bran commercial... the one with the puppet organs on a stick singing about the benefits of bran. Apparently, they also threaten to harm you at the end of the commercial, but we were too busy trying to figure out what organs they were supposed to be to notice the dialogue. I think the last disputed organ is a heart... but Andrew has some interesting theories of his own. It brings back such good memories of our debate of '99 about whether that Around the World Lucky Charms marshmallow was a jalapeno or Lady Liberty's torch. The night ended with the three of us going to Versailles for some mouth-watering Cuban food (mmm... pork chops, plantains, beans and rice!) before heading over to check out the pretty people at The Abbey (and drinking an amaretto sour from a pint glass).

And now, we're on to the big day - Sunday. Sunday was all about being flipped, crushed, banged up, and soaked. It was fantastic. I was nervous when they first warned me about the intensity of the rides at Magic Mountain, seeing as how I was still a Disney World/Astroworld level rollercoaster enthusiast. But, after jump starting the day with X (the ride... not the drug... although probably with the same effects), I was all about the extreme. We hit up one big coaster after another, and I was surprised that I didn't feel sick at all... just that lovely rush of adrenaline.

It was not until Andrew's coworker, Laine, joined the mix that sickness really became a factor. I should have known better... in fact, I remember saying, "Are you guys sure this is a good idea?" But alas, in the spirit of not being a weenie, I agreed to go on the death trap known as Spinout... that carnival ride where the concept is to spin around fast enough to stick to the wall. This is literally right after we had each finished our half-cooked $20 amusement park pizza. Good god. What a bad idea. As soon as the ride started, all of us instantly regretted getting convinced to go on this ride by Laine, who ironically got pulled off the ride at the last minute because he was too tall. We were all screaming something... "when does this thing end"... "why did we agree to do this"... "I think I feel my pizza coming up"... and my favorite comment... when Jared turned his head away from us and quietly said, "I think I'm going to cry."

Laine's leadership got us in trouble a second time when he decided to recommend the Roaring Rapids ride. Again, I heard that little voice in the back of my head saying, "is this a good idea?" And again, I ignored it. I've been on this ride at almost every amusement park I've visited... it's just that silly simulated white water river ride where 12 people sit in a circular raft. Every other time I have been on it, only one or two people get the unfortunate prize of being drenched and everyone else walks away largely unscathed. We were all placing bets on who it would be. Little did we know that all 12 onboard that fateful raft would be completely soaked. Besides feeling like an idiot for doing this to yourself, you also get the unpleasant bonus of having to walk around awkwardly with wet underwear and socks the rest of the day... trying to minimize the chafing and avoiding the shade.

You may think that the Magic Mountain madness stopped there, but you would be wrong. The last event of the day, which was the perfect cap to a classic amusement park experience, involved me, my bulky rental car keys, one of my favorite pairs of jeans, the Ninja ride entrance, and a nice stranger. Here's what happened... I had the gazillion keys they give you at the car rental place clipped to one of the belt loops on my jeans because they didn't fit anywhere else. While trying to maneuver past some people at the entrance to the Ninja ride, it got caught on some kind of chain. I didn't think much of it, just untangled myself and kept walking. It was not until we got to the front of the line that everyone noticed that I was a little hoochier than I was a few minutes ago. Turns out, the force from the key snag popped the top button of my jeans clean off. If my jeans weren't still sopping wet and clinging to my body, they would have been a little too loose for my taste. Being the optimistic and helpful people that they are, Andrew and his friends decided they would go back to the entrance to search for the button after we got off the ride. I knew the chances of us finding that button were small, and I wasn't that attached to it (we had been through a lot, but I could part ways with the little bugger), but I agreed to look for it for a few seconds. When we got back to the entrance, everyone started to search around. I guess it looked strange enough for some guy who was walking into the entrance to ask us what we were looking for. When we mentioned that I was missing a button, he just casually bent down, picked something up, and handed it to me. "Here ya go." I looked down at my hand, and sure enough, it was a button... it just wasn't mine. I guess button loss is more prevalent than you would expect at the Ninja entrance.

That's basically everything noteworthy that happened this past weekend. I drove straight from Magic Mountain in my nifty little maroon Hyundai Sonata to LAX to catch the last flight back to Houston. I had so much fun at Magic Mountain that I seriously still had vertigo when I boarded my flight. Every time I closed my eyes or the plane hit some turbulence, it was hard to tell which direction was up and which was down.

Ah... just reminiscing about this weekend makes me happy. I love Andrew and Jason... and all of their friends. Thanks for making my birthday weekend memorable. I wouldn't change a second of it... even that "wanting to die" feeling I experienced on Spinout :)