Money Ain't A Thang

In a friendly email from a college buddy I was informed that someone who lived near us in high school had a $4 million wedding in Houston a few weeks ago. Out of curiousity, I pulled up the wedding announcement from the Chronicle. Not only did she apparently have a ridiculously tacky wedding, she had to brag about it in a 100,000 word announcement describing every sickening detail of the event. How detailed is this announcement? Well, I now know that the bride's bouquet had "240 Swarovski crystals shimmering throughout it." I didn't even finish reading the entire announcement because the detail on the type of hairstyles that the bridesmaids wore made my head explode halfway through. Call me a conformist, because I really think you should just stick with the facts like names, date, time, and place for things like this. Add in a line about what colleges the couple attended and where they will be going on their honeymoon if you like, but please spare us the rest. I have a feeling the bride wrote this masterpiece herself.

Usually, I don't have a problem with the way people spend their money. Do whatever makes you happy as long as you're not going into debt or hurting anyone else, but things like this just make me nauseous. $4 million for a wedding? Unless the guests went home with gift bags that included a couple of gold bars and some Bershire Hathaway shares, it just doesn't seem right.

If you insist on throwing cash away, I have some better suggestions. How about...

1) Buying your own rollercoaster. I was curious as to how much my own virtual rollercoaster ride would cost after posting my last entry. Looks like I can get a used one for only $30,000. What a bargain. If I really wanted to blow some cash though, there are real rollercoasters available... and only $199,995. With $4 million, I can probably afford to splurge on the one with a double loop listed for $890,000.
http://www.amusementtrader.com/ad_detail.php?ad_id=3649

2) Rent out a whole floor of luxury apartments in the Four Seasons downtown and invite a bunch of friends to live there for a year, free. It would be like our own Real World show... except everyone could go to their own suites if they wanted to have a little privacy for their threesome in the hot tub. Besides, the daily maid service is worth the $6500/month alone.
http://www.gunn.net/four_seasons-rentals.htm

3) Buy one piece of art just because it makes you smile. Well, I probably couldn't get Koon's "Rabbit" for anything less than $5 million, but having a Calder mobile to hang from my ceiling could be just as nice. I can lie down on the floor and stare at it for hours while I ponder what else I will be blowing my money on.
http://www.artnet.com/Galleries/Artists_detail.asp?G=&gid=921&which=&aid=3485

Whew. That was a fun exercise. Give me a few more minutes and I could come up with even more ways that $4 million could be better wasted than on 9,000 roses and a scale replica of New Orleans' Jackson Square for a cake.

Forget being sensible, if you were in a Brewster's Millions situation with $4 million, what would you splurge on?