Track 2: Change Your Mind (Sister Hazel)

When did it become so difficult to have a conversation? I'm not an intellectual. I don't need to have intense debates about foreign policy or the latest historical novel. But, it would be nice if I could have some deep discussions with someone once in a while to break up the monotony of gossip and small talk. Is that an unreasonable thing to wish for? Is everyone else really satisfied with just worrying about what they're going to eat for lunch or what they are going to do on the weekends?

That's not the only barrier to a good conversation. When I am lucky enough to get someone interested in talking about the bigger things in life, I have to proceed cautiously. Land mines ahead. Make sure you step around religion... don't even try to touch politics or the war. You will lose a limb. It seems like everyone has a solid stance on those issues. There's no room for doubt, and anyone who disagrees with you must be an idiot.

Why is that? First of all, nobody I know has any real information on any of those topics. We somehow think that we can form an intelligent opinion based on what Katie Couric tells us over our morning coffee? We watch a movie, read a magazine and all of a sudden we are experts? I'm not saying that you shouldn't form an opinion, I'm just saying you should keep in mind that it's almost impossible for the media to be unbiased. Add to that the fact that human beings have a tendency to only look for evidence that supports what they already believe, and you've got one unscientific conclusion you are trying to ram down someone else's throat. Even if we had all of the information, if we could be a fly on the wall in top secret meetings, since when was anything black or white? If you have to make a decision that will affect 6 billion people, what are the chances that you will be able to please everyone... or to make sure that no one gets the short end of the stick? Along with that, since when did people become saints? We got to where we are as a society by conquering, killing, and exploiting. Do you think that coffee you are drinking, that shirt you are wearing, and that nice SUV you are driving on your way to some protest magically appeared on this earth? There have to be some exploited people, some shady business deals, and crooked trade policies behind all the things you enjoy daily. It's all circular. It takes a villian to create a hero though, it doesn't work the other way around. Things feel more comfortable when it's us vs. them, and you have someone else to blame. I find that fascinating.

Now, I am not at all advocating crimes against humanity. I'm just saying you shouldn't get on that high horse so fast. I'm not saying you should never take a stand for anything either. The way the world is now, you actually need people to be passionate on each side of an issue. It's the only way to make sure that things stay close to equilibrium. Sure, it would be easier if everyone was more reasonable and willing to admit their faults, but it's just not in our nature. Being level-headed doesn't really get you that far in life - if you need a scientific explanation, read up on evolutionary psychology.

To complicate things even more, I don't think we are ever completely aware of how defensive we naturally are and how much baggage we carry. Our strongest beliefs are sometimes those that we don't even have a good explanation for when we stop to think about it. It's like brand loyalty - Jiffy peanut butter and the Republican party - you like it because your dad likes it (or you like it because your dad hates it).

Ultimately, I don't think that there is an absolute right or wrong. It's not like I don't have an opinion. I do, but I know it's just MY opinion. It's what works for me, it's what my experience has taught me, it's how I feel. In fact, everything that I've said so far could be considered a stance in itself. I'm just reacting to what I think is a popular sentiment these days though. Don't take it as being in support of anything. I could just as easily go the other way. Just trying to do my part to keep things balanced.

So, if I really think about these things all the time, why do I actively engage in insignificant conversations about office politics and celebrity gossip? Why do I watch pointless tv shows and come off as shallow or silly or uninterested sometimes?

It's all for fun. Life is fascinating. I like thinking about the endless wacky possibilities out there. At the end of the day, I don't place any importance on any of those things. There's no hero worship, and I don't think that I know what's going on in someone else's life because I heard about it on Entertainment Tonight. All that stuff is just to fuel my own imagination. I have a little dollhouse in my own mind where I get to control the characters. I'm not confusing it with reality, and I sure as hell don't think it's more important than working on my own life and getting to know the people around me. Some people drink, play video games and tennis to relax... I watch corny reality tv and Will Ferrell movies.

I really would love to have a real conversation sometime, but I'm not really keen on building a glass house when I can clearly see people standing outside with rocks in their hands. Come unarmed and ready to admit your own faults, and I promise we'll have a good time.