San (Jose, -ta Cruz, Francisco)

Friend (noun): A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.


The Beginning

Six Years Later

Friendship is a strange thing. Like all relationships, the lifespan of a friendship is usually determined by geographic promixity and how much you have in common (personality, career path, hobbies, interests). 99.9% of the time, once you part ways, distance and time start to erode that bond.

I wouldn't say I was the most social person in the world, but I have always made great friends at summer camps and in vacation tour groups. Maybe I look friendlier when I'm all sweaty and dirty. Or maybe it's the fact that people only have to be around me for a week or two... any longer and they would realize that I'm actually the type of person that they normally avoid. Whatever it is, there's always someone that I keep in touch with after every class/camp/trip. Alas, the average lifespan of these relationships is probably 4 years. That's not bad considering these are people I only hung around for a couple weeks out of my life. I have spent years with other people only to have the relationship immediately drop off a cliff after the separation point (graduation, move, etc).

I hate watching relationships die. Before we even part ways, I get sad just thinking about the unavoidable path ahead... phone calls become emails become spam... weeks become months become years. I'm always the last one to call or write.

My friendship with Warren (the one on the left) is the exception to that rule. I met Warren, and his cousin Telly (the one on the right) 6 years ago on a 2 week tour through the major cities in China. We had a great time, and we got along pretty well, but what were the chances that some crazy teenagers from San Francisco would want to keep in touch with me? I seriously underestimated how loyal and caring these two guys are.

It's been 6 years now, and although there were long periods of silence, we have managed to stay close. All the credit belongs to Warren. He made the effort to find me when we lost touch. He sent letters and pictures... he even borrowed a friend's cellphone to call me out of the blue when he was serving in Iraq. You just don't find a more dedicated friend than that.

This past weekend, I had originally planned to go to NY or LA. The US Open in NY made it impossible to find an open flight. LA was surprisingly open, but I was afraid that it would be Bonnie overload for dear Andrew (since I plan to harass him this weekend). That's when it suddenly dawned on me that I should finally visit Warren after all these years.

San Jose, here I come. Well, it wasn't exactly that easy. All the flights filled up at the last minute. I couldn't get on the first flight Saturday, but I caught the next one out (and I was upgraded to 1st class since there weren't any coach seats left). Warren picked me up, and we drove back to Santa Cruz, where he actually lives and goes to school. It was gorgeous. The weather was perfect, and Santa Cruz is everything you imagine a coastal California city to be like... quaint little shops downtown, cute beach houses, pristine beaches, and a boardwalk complete with rollercoasters and a ferris wheel. The people there looked like they had just walked out of the J Crew and Hollister catalogues. It was so perfect that I felt like I was on an elaborate movie set. We toured the UC Santa Cruz campus, which is hidden in the hills but has a perfect view of Monterey Bay, and I even got to see the banana slugs and jellyfish at the Long Marine Lab that night (how we got access is a secret).

Sunday, Telly drove down from San Francisco, and we had lunch together. Since I had missed the last flight out of San Jose at that point (which was overbooked anyways), I hitched a ride with Warren back up to San Francisco and caught the next flight out.

What a great weekend.

It seems strange that it would be so easy to visit after all these years. I have the great benefits of my job to thank for that. But, I also have to thank Warren and Telly for being such amazing friends. Hope it lasts for many years to come.