It's Always About Food in the End

Hola chicos y chicas! It's only been the first day of my training course (aka time away from the ol' cube downtown), and I already feel like I'm living a different life.

The lovely Series 7 Training class taught by master scammers STC is held at the prestigious University of Phoenix Houston Campus. UoPhx only leases part of the building, but it is still 10 times nicer than I expected (the lobby even has a creepy mannequin sitting at one of those self-playing grand pianos). Anyways, class is uh... interesting. Our instructor is Harvey Fierstein's long lost twin (with a little less rasp in his voice but just as bearded, scary, and annoying) - I keep expecting him to come in with a dress on and break out into song after each break. Even better are his "qualifications"... he bragged that he got a 70.4% on this exam whenever he took it... a gazillion years ago when it was still on paper and scored by hand. Really breeds confidence. Since the class is on the side of I-10, our only option for lunch within the allotted time is the Taco Cabana next door. Yum. Can't wait to eat that for 4 more days. I think the only upside is that I actually know someone in the class - Miss Gina - the office diva. She is definitely entertaining to have around, but she's smart enough to bring her own lunch - damn... gotta eat questionable taco beef alone.

Speaking of food. In a completely unrelated story... I went to Pei Wei this weekend and ordered take out. This was the same night that I ran out of dog food for Tobey. Being the master strategist that I am, I figured I could order... then go buy dog food... then pick up my order on the way home. Well, I did not anticipate the take out order to come with one of those coaster pagers. Since I had already ordered as well as set my mind on getting the dog food, I decided to take the pager with me to Petco (1.5 miles away). I told the take out cashier that I was going "next door" to buy something - she said "okay, just come back in 15 minutes." I would have made it back in 15 minutes if I wasn't narrowly beat out to the cash register by a chubby lady in bike shorts struggling to push a kiddie cart (she didn't know that they had adult-size shopping carts) with a 5 lb bag of dog food for her overweight chihuahua "Rocky" (complete with jeweled leopard print collar). Turns out she was there to exchange the light dog food that she bought for regular, because Rocky refuses to diet. Naturally, she didn't have a receipt, and naturally, the new bag of dog food she picked out had a gaping hole in it that required her to make another lap around the store with her kiddie cart and bloated pooch in tow. Anyways, I get back to my car in time to see the coaster pager go off - what do ya know? Those things are actually real pagers... unlike whatever weak-ass system the Cheesecake Factory at the Galleria uses. You learn something new everyday.