Wingin' It, Fakin' It, and Tap Dancing

Sorry to disappoint you, but this entry has nothing to do with what you think it does.

This is a confession... or more of a disclaimer since I have never claimed to be anything other than completely clueless.

I would just like to say that I have not learned a thing since maybe freshmen year in high school. I vaguely remember what it felt like to have the light bulb go on, and I can say that it hasn't happened since those good ol' itchy polyester gym uniform days.

Let's break down learnings into its key components:
a) The ability to store things into memory
b) The ability to make connections / recall items

These two abilities are separate to me because I think you can actually store information but be unable to recall it due to a lack of mental organization. Your ability to make enough connections to other stuff in your head makes it useful and is reflected in the depth of your understanding of an issue and creativity.

I lack both, but mainly the second part. All of the "oh yeah" moments I experience tell me that. Can't help it. My mind, like my house, is extremely messy.

So, how do I get by in life? Mostly wild guesses and a lot of hoping with my fingers crossed. You think I'm kidding or exaggerating. In that case, I guess there's no harm in saying that it's the same strategy I sometimes apply to driving (are you scared now?).

In the contest of things my brain rejects... first runner up is radians... and the winner is accounting. It's ironic that I majored in its half-brother, finance.

Why am I confessing this? Well, because in the coming weeks, I will be testing my ability to wing it, fake it, and tap dance in front of a variety of audiences... and I want to make my stupidity clear before any of the results appear.

1) I have a client meeting where I have to present and be grilled about various financial/accounting ratios and comparisons. I have already been through one of these before that did not go so well, particularly because the client felt the urge to ask "are my other exempt employees included in this net income before withdrawals number"... and although the odds of answering correctly were 50/50 (yes or no), they apparently were not good enough for me (It's not good when your boss has to correct you). Damn Q&A.
2) For no other reason than the fact that my company is willing to pay for this... I will be taking my Series 7 licensing test - for those of you not involved in the hell that is the financial industry... it's a 6 hour computerized test that I must pass to become a registered General Securities Representative of the NASD. Yes, it is as boring and full of questions about useless minute details as it sounds.

My brother, the true brains of the family (and the only athlete of the family... which genes did I get again?), passed with flying colors... highest in his class? I'm just hoping to pass. No colors needed.

Let's hope the computer enjoys my dance routine.