S.P.A.S.A.W.W.B.

I'm starting a new club - Sleeping People Against Smoke Alarms With Weak Batteries. Okay... so the acronym needs some work before I can start printing t-shirts.

Here's the situation. I have 5 smoke alarms in my 2 bedroom townhouse. Three of them have all decided to tell me that they would like new batteries at 3am at some point in the past. Last night/this morning, their fourth sibling followed in this tradition. Now, I love the open design of my loft-like place, but it also means that I cannot effectively block out any sound in any part of the place. Consequently, I think I was actually in the middle of a dream when I started hearing a beeping noise in the distance... and even though I was still unconscious... I think I automatically knew what it was.

Naturally, I had time to brainstorm this issue when I finally got out of bed. I have concluded the following:

Smoke alarms should not run on 9 volt batteries. We should convert them to solar power, or wind power, or even hamster power. I think a hamster running on a wheel non-stop would last longer than a crappy 9 volt battery. And do I really need to be notified at 3am that my smoke alarm would appreciate some more alkaline juice? Seriously, what's the harm in waiting until a decent hour?

Besides the fact that my smoke alarm lacks manners, I have another issue. Smoke alarm number 4 is in a fantastic location - one only beat by smoke alarm number 5. Number 4 is located just over the railing of the third story entry way into my bedroom (it overlooks the living room). It's a hard place to describe if you've never been there. Anyways, to change the battery, I will have to stand on a chair and lean 2/3rds of my body over the railing to reach the darn thing. If you guys don't hear from me in a day or two, it's because Tobey was unsuccessful in convincing the 911 operator that I am not recovering well from the 20ft head-first fall onto a hardwood floor.

Number 5 is 15ft above my bed. God help me.