Same S#@% Different Day

I had the annual bonus and raise discussion with the boss yesterday... the conversation started like this "If it were up to me, I would pay you all the money in the world...." I think we all know where the conversation went from there. I now officially make what I made three years ago. What's wrong with this picture? It's about par for the course though.

I don't know how to describe it, but I've always felt like we all have our own invisible tracks. Some people have dramatic lives with crazy ups and downs... some people seem to be cruising down easy street. I'm sure the scientific explanation for it is that our personalities dramatically affect the outcomes in our lives... but I don't know if I buy that 100 percent.

I personally am one of those baseline people. I would have to say that I float around in life. I'll never win the lottery, but I'll never be totally devastated either. Things always work out, but there are no exciting plot twists or spectacular finales. Part of this is probably due to the fact that I have to make an effort to remind myself that this is my life. Some days I wake up and I'm like "oh yeah... so I guess this is one continuous story line." It's like I'm playing a video game, and I expect to get to start over the next day... but it turns out my only option is to 'Resume Game'. Sounds stupid and simple, but I think my inability to mentally string my life together both contributes to my lack of motivation/accomplishment and my lack of mood swings. Some days I really think that I could set myself on fire and it wouldn't change a thing.

Is this a blessing or a cleverly disguised version of hell?