I've Been Wang'd

When bad pictures happen to good people

And now featuring.... Andrew T. Wang

How can you not love a guy who will tolerate your uncanny ability to take horrible pictures of him (see Exhibit A above... normal Andrew vs. the first 3 attempts)?

Let's dive into the events of my lovely Thursday night...

5:30pm - Received multiple calls about a good ol' KHS reunion northside. I had to decline since Mr. Wang always takes priority... although I don't really regret missing out on the festivities since I would have been the dumbest person there. Let me just list the participants: class valedictorian, 2 Caltechies (example - Ricky Tong: Caltech + joint Harvard & MIT degrees), and 2 computer geniuses that I have known since elementary school (I remember when Robert Horton was little Bobby Horton).

Moving on...

8:00pm - Andrew, Oliver, and I head out for Texadelphia. I have now visited two Houston locations of this fine establishment within a 4 day period. I think the cheesesteaks are a good flashback to old times in ATX, but the Texadelphias here lack the charm that only cramped seating, greasy tables, and dim lighting can provide.

9:00pm - Back at the bat cave. Andrew and Oliver were relegated to lying around on the couches like lifeless blobs... moving only when defending themselves from a full-on Tobey assault. It was so quiet and boring that you would have heard crickets chirping at this point if this was a TV show. As Andrew explained, "I always tell Jason that I never do much when I'm with Bonnie."

11:00pm - Andrew and I decide to drive around to find some action. Oliver wisely left us. While we are driving around, we get summoned to The Whiskey Bar to join Jonathan, his friend Frank from London, and their friend Sarah from Mars. The crowd is eclectic - pimps, grandmas, truckers, and one "Judy Garland on crack". This is the beginning of the portion of the night we shall call "Sarah time". Perhaps her own words are best to describe her... "I'm a half Egyptian, half German, bisexual, Eurotrash, St. John's alumna who currently lives in fabulous LA." She was quite social, but in that "oh my god, when is she going to shut up" kind of way. I did get a kick out of the fact that she used the same cheery tone to say the most bizzare things as if they were mundane. I kept hoping that she would need to go to the bathroom; but sadly, she never did.

12:30am - We all head to South Beach. The gods were smiling on us because we actually found a parking spot right in front. To add to that good fortune... on our way to the entrance, I had to turn around because someone was calling my name, and it was none other than Brad Butler - comic genius and fellow BHP newletter writer extraordinaire! I love that guy. After 3 years of not seeing him, I wasn't sure that he would even remember me, but I was pleasantly surprised. He was as giddy to see me as I was to see him... claiming that I am one of the only people that he actually remembers and misses from college. I'm glad, because he's one of the coolest people I've ever met. Brad is currently roughing it in LA, just like Andrew, trying to make it in "the industry". I'm going to state my prediction that he will succeed... someday I will be paying the inflation-adjusted $6.50 (student ID for life) to see a movie written and produced by Mr. Butler. Hey... I should know what a great writer he is... I was forced to read The Texas Travesty (UT's official humor magazine) everyday by Mr. Butler himself. But, let's go back to the events of the night and my time spent with the other Hollywood up-and-comer, Mr. Wang. Andrew and I spent part of the time standing around, watching Sarah gyrate awkwardly in her Sex and the City fur coat, cigarette in hand. The rest of the time, we were on the dance floor, tolerating the house music. Poor Andrew didn't have the opportunity to "drop it like it's hot". Only a few moments of "shakin' it like he meant it" were had. Still, it was a perfectly enjoyable night that ended at 2am.

Now, I am anxiously awaiting the sequel... Andrew: Part Deux.