I Ain't Buyin It

Maybe it's just me, but I rarely meet people on my wavelength...

I think I just have a low tolerance for small talk because I feel that it's insincere. Just to clarify - I enjoy the witty banter and the trivial conversations about hollywood gossip and such. What I don't enjoy is being stuck in conversations where the other person feels obligated to say something. Those conversations usually begin with "how are you today" and proceed on to topics such as kids, home repairs, vacations and the like. They are peppered with responses like "oh, that sounds nice" and "things will get better." It's like a social madlib...

Apathetic co-worker/acquaintance/relative: "So, how was your [day/weekend/vacation]?"

You: "It was [okay/good/great]. I [robbed a pawn shop/ate 30lbs of fried chicken/bought a mumu online]."

Apathetic co-worker/acquaintance/relative: "Oh, that's nice."

Perhaps I am too cynical, or perhaps I just haven't met the right people. Celebrities certainly avoid me like the plague, but I have met some key people. They would include:

• my alter ego
• the perfect human being (well, as close to perfect as I can imagine is possible)
• the nicest complete stranger

There is one person that is noticeable absent from this list...