Check Minus

Let's set aside logic and probability for a moment...

I am convinced that there are certain misfortunes that are unavoidable in life. The list of unfortunate events includes:

• Breaking a bone
• Getting pulled over by the cops
• Getting into a car accident
• Losing something valuable/having something stolen
• Getting stung by some kind of nasty insect
• Getting your heart broken
• Making a fool out of yourself in public/crying in public

Somehow, I feel like if you check them off your list, you're in the clear for the rest of your life. Is there any chance that I can hold on to this delusion?